CLUELESS

WORDS LIKE LIGHT 

Saturday, May 14, 2022

            When I was a boy, “search me” — meaning “I have no clue” — was a response I sometimes used when questioned about something, and I was thinking this morning that I could make it my personal slogan, since I honestly have no definite answers on almost any issue. I have occasionally enjoyed pretending I know the right answers, but the truth is, I could forage in my mind forever and still not be sure I’ve got the truth. All I usually find, in fact, is a formidable wilderness of possible answers, like wispy flakes moving by the millions through my mind. For me, life at age 80, is almost always fun, and sometimes fantastic, but that doesn’t mean I have answers. Actually, I’ve pretty much given up trying to find answers, and instead, I’m savoring the surprisingly charming world of my cluelessness. The sky above is immense, unsearchable, and beautiful, and so, I now see, is the universe of answers. Instead of searching, I’m just appreciating.

NAIVE AND SATISFIED 

At 80, he feels blessed to be
naive again, like he's getting young
once more and feeling all the joy
of youthful obliviousness  The pleasant light
of naïveté has dawned on him
and often sends him out to walk around
the yard.  A neighbor sometimes sees him 
and decides life
must be a joy, if this old man can smile
outside in shorts even in wintertime.
The old man has come to see that life
is more mysterious than understandable,
more like a pleasant maze than something one
should try to understand and steer.
The neighbor who watches him smiles, too,
as though contented to be lost, like him, inside
a baffling web of cluelessness, as though
they're both enjoying the peace of knowing
how naive - and satisfied - they are.

Below are some scenes from our walk yesterday in Pequot Woods …