If a wizard gave me a chance to go back in time and alter or remove some event in my life, I think I would politely decline. As strange as that might sound, it makes sense to me. Somehow, I have a hunch that every single thing that has happened to me was actually picture-perfect and profitable for me at that particular time of my life. Like all of us, I have experienced successes and failures, joys and sorrows, happiness and heartbreak, but over the years, the suspicion has grown in me that it was all, in strange and veiled ways, somehow helpful to me.
And sometimes this question pops up: Do I actually think I am smart enough to select the events that should happen in my life? Do I have the kind of wisdom it would take to remove and replace episodes of my life? Can I step back far enough to get the widest possible picture in order to analyze the countless what-if’s and maybe’s? Truly, trusting myself to wisely rearrange events in my past is similar to trusting myself if I decided that, well, maybe the stars in the sky should be shifted around a little, or maybe it would be best if Mystic’s temperatures were in the mid-70’s all year long.
Life – including my life and every life – is too infinitely vast to even be slightly comprehended. Thinking we can understand our past and then redesign it is like thinking we can understand the endless universe itself and redesign it with expertise.
No. Instead of changing anything in my past, I would rather look back on it with awe and amazement. To me, the wins and losses, the loves and angers, the sufferings and triumphs of my life – and all of life – are as stunning and breathtaking and bewildering as the Grand Canyon, and who would try to change the Grand Canyon?